Growing up in Denmark, a Scandinavian country where hygge and Christmas magic are a very, very huge part of the culture, the festive season was celebrated beautifully everywhere around me, except at home.

So growing up, my family did not celebrate Christmas, which meant no festive decorations and definitely no Christmas tree! I was often the only child at school who did not have family holiday traditions to describe, gifts to talk about, or that exciting Christmas update during story time. It always made me feel sad, a sense of loss and grief, and also just left out. The latter was particularly hard, as navigating a bicultural identity often meant constantly balancing the values of your heritage with the expectations of the culture you grew up in, never feeling fully at home in either.

It was not that I wanted a religious celebration, because I understood that part as my parents were Hindu, but I longed for that feeling of togetherness, joy, and sparkle that everyone else seemed to have. Not just during the festive season, but as a part of a happy home life throughout my childhood. As a child, I often imagined what it might feel like to walk into a home filled with not just the Christmas magic, but, more importantly, hygge, laughter, and genuine connection.

As a child, I did not understand the rigid need to reject the influence of other cultures, and it felt almost like a fear-based response. Now, as an adult and a trauma therapist, I can see that it truly was. My family, as Tamils, the minority in Sri Lanka, had fled a country where their cultural identity was threatened, where they faced racism, systemic oppression, and violent barriers to equality. They carried with them the pain of generations whose identity had been dismissed, suppressed, and devalued. As an adult, I now understand that this rigidity I sensed from them growing up, was not just resistance to outside influence, but my family’s way of proudly reclaiming their identity, which, to them, I can imagine would have been a much-needed, powerful act of deeply rooted resistance.

So, having this awareness now, I hold a deep sense of empathy for them and compassion for their behaviour, understanding the pain and fear that shaped them. At the same time, I extend that same empathy and compassion to my inner child, especially to the part of me who missed out and had so many unmet needs. One of the ways I choose to heal those wounds is by consciously engaging in activities and experiences my younger self longed for but never had the chance to enjoy.

One of them is walking into my home during the festive season and having it filled with twinkling lights, a Christmas tree, and colourful decorations. A home that is finally surrounded by family traditions, togetherness, and joy. One that is finally filled with hygge, laughter, connection, and Christmas magic. I am giving that gift to myself, to my inner child, who always gets so excited leading up to Christmas.

This year, I may have gone a little big though. I brought home a 7-foot Christmas tree (which, in my mind, just meant very tall = perfect!). What I didn’t quite translate correctly was the 4.5-foot width… In true Danish fashion, I still think in centimetres, so the 4.5-foot width was a slight surprise! 🙂 Our living room has become 80% tree, but honestly, I love it! Even though it is only November, I have already put up and decorated my Christmas tree, which is one of my ways of making up for lost time.

So, looking up at that gigantic tree and noticing how it fills nearly the entire living room, I can’t help but smile, knowing that little me is finally having her own magical Christmas moment, surrounded by twinkling lights and magic.

So, this is my gentle and compassionate reminder for you how healing can look like such as giving yourself the experiences you once wished for. Really it is about how the joy can look like saying yes to the playful, excited version of you inside and choosing what feels good now, even if you never had it back then.

For anyone else reclaiming a childhood joy you once missed out on, I see you, and your inner child deserves celebration too. If it feels ok, perhaps take a moment to reflect asking yourself whether you have done something lately that made your inner child light up? Feel free to share about it in the comment section if that feels OK for you.

I hope this season brings you magic, a home full of hygge, and a season filled with childlike joy, giggles, and moments that make your inner child feel seen.

©Sharmi under Stepping Stones Psychology – All Rights Reserved 2025