Want help with parenting the way you dreamed of, which is so different to your own painful experience? This course offers tools that do seem like magic, they are so simple and effective in the way they can turn around stressful situations. ~ Wendy Andrews
This 6-weeks programme called ‘Parenting with a History of Trauma’, which is aimed at parents who lived through difficult childhoods – through trauma (however you would like to define it). You might have gone through abuse, through neglect —especially, but not necessarily, as children. This is for all of you who had to do whatever you needed to do to survive, and you are out on the other side, and are now parents yourself. You made it through with lot of courage, bravery and fierce determination. You are working hard as a parent to raise your children, whether they are toddlers, teenagers or young adults.
Growing up in trauma, you survived by shutting your emotions down, but when you become an adult and have children, this is when it hits you hard: Our children can be our biggest triggers. Our children are, on a very unconscious level, reminding us of what we didn’t really have ourselves when we were children. For many years, we most likely blocked our unmet needs out by burying them away deeply.
Even when we don’t understand and when it makes absolutely no sense, our behaviour still comes from somewhere; there is a reason we all react in a certain way. Parenting through trauma, as challenging as it is, is a beautiful opportunity from our children, for us to look deeply within ourselves. It is an opportunity to make sense of our past, and understand how it is linked to our feelings, thoughts and any difficult behaviour we may have.
Parents, who have experienced a difficult childhood and are carrying the unresolved trauma with them, will find certain elements of parenting very challenging. This may be finding it tricky to be emotionally present and offering a positively engaging connection through warmth and play. It may be anxiety around setting limits, boundaries and structure. This may be struggles around attunement and active listening, as this brings out discomfort for you. Intentionally, or unintentionally, you might deal with your child in a punitive manner. You might be at your worst when uncontrollable triggers come out of the blue.
We know that the issue of attachment disruption, unresolved loss and trauma can have a negative impact on our parenting. However, having a safe space to explore and make sense of these, and looking at various trauma-informed parenting and self-help techniques, tools and resources, can help you move forward in your parenting journey. By healing yourself, you will become a better version of yourself as a parent.
I will be collaborating with the lovely Wendy, who has over twenty five years’ experience with running Parenting Peer Support, both giving and receiving. Daily seizures in her late teens made it an imperative for her to begin years of detective work into her ‘happy childhood’, uncovering multiple layers of trauma. Wendy has raised a now twenty year old daughter using peaceful parenting tools from the start and learning a lot as she stumbled through.